3.8.10

::milk + honey.::


Bad relationships. Mistakes.
We all go through some at one point of our lives. And if you don't, you should consider yourself extremely lucky, fortunate, blessed, and everything else on the list. I can quite honestly admit that I've gone through a couple myself; including the stumbles within the good relationships I've had as well. But in all honesty, I am thankful that I have been strong enough to break off of relationships that started tumbling down. I've a had a number of people around me who were verbally/morally/physically abused by their significant other, yet didn't have the courage, conscience, strength, or what ever it takes to break away from vicious cycles such as abusive relationships.

What I've learned (in some cases, in the most difficult ways) in the past few years is that there is no way one can love another without loving themselves first. As narcissistic as this sounds, it's very true, too. As much as it sounds extremely easy to do so, it really isn't quite so. When it comes to myself, it took a good time for me to accept who I am. Quite frankly, even sometimes today, I have some difficulties accepting what I am. And sometimes I used to hide in the shadows of my significant other, simply because that was more comfortable than facing myself. Times have passed, I've learned my lessons, and most importantly, I am far more comfortable in my skin.

As I sat in the passenger seat of my friend's car, and spoke out my heart, I felt tears dripping down my face again. We've ran away from reality too long, and never spent the time we needed to spend to dissolve the knots that happened between us. In stead, I wanted out, and called it quits, before doing what had to be undone. Suddenly I felt as if the huge ditch that was between us being buried away. We kept running away from what we had to face just so we could be comfortable, and get on with life. Now with our hearts out, we could look each other in the eye and speak our true emotions. That was exactly what I was looking for.

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