Regrets? I've had a few...
...I did, what I had to do!
...I did it myyyyy waaaaayyy!
I know Sid isn't responsible for the original but who cares (I certainly don't).
I can relate to and empathize with Sid's unbelievably horrible vocal skills and stage performance. (In other words, who could possibly suck so badly? No one. Now, that is what you call talent)
For the first time in years, I feel like I'm communicating "normally" with my dad, maybe taking the first steps of reestablishing a decent relationship as a father and a daughter for the first time in years. Ironically, this probably only happened due to my parents' divorce, and I'm finding it more and more difficult to handle my mother's blunder of emotions being thrown at my face. I know I'm selfish, and I should probably be the bigger person and understand what she's going through, and try to help her out. But at the same time, I have more than enough on my plate. I have enough emotions myself to process, I have enough thoughts that I have to organize, and most of all, I have so many things I have to accept as reality. A close friend of mine told me to be "understanding"; and I believe I've passed that stage. It was difficult, and it was definitely not the easiest things I've done. I know we're "family" no matter what, and that our "family" bond wasn't strong as I wished to be from the start, but now it almost feels like everything has shattered. Deep inside I felt like I was going to be able to handle my parents' divorce like I can over come a little pebble that trips me on the way to a bigger picture. Wrong. For all I know, maybe I'm being a little immature. I don't know. I tried talking to my dad about it, who knows, he might actually have a decent conversation with me, maybe not. It's all still up in the air. ...I'm just going to take a break with my mother though, yelling at each other on the phone is clearly not productive, nor do I want to fight over emails. It's just a huge crash of egos and "But I'm feeling this" "No listen to me, I'm feeling that" at the moment, and I've already had more than enough. I attempted to ask her to call me another time, but all she could do was yell right back at me, and I had no choice but to hang up. I couldn't take any more.
Most of the future tattoos I want at the moment are related to literature in one way or another. I am yet to embark on my "蜘蛛の糸" (Kumo no Ito, written by Akutagawa Ryunosuke)-inspired tattoo, and now I feel like a birdcage tattoo based on one of my favorite poems by William Blake is fitting to the situation that I'm in at the moment, as well as what I've been in the past couple years.
"How can the bird that is born for joy
Sit in a cage and sing?
How can a child when fears annoy
But droop his tender wing,
And forget his youthful spring?"
-"The Schoolboy", William Blake
Such a beautiful poem, and so inspiring. Blake is my favorite poet by far, and I have always been attracted to the image of a bird flying out of an birdcage. In a sense, in the past couple years, I have constantly been forcing myself out of my own cage; coming to Los Angeles was breaking away from my "cage" that was my home, ending a relationship that meant so much to me and brought so many positive changes to my life- that was a true escape from a "cage", and deciding to switch majors, that was in a sense, move from a "cage" as well.
I also adore anchor tattoos, and am trying to get my friend to tattoo one on me. It's going to be a homage to my hometown. <3
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